Ponderances

So I've started seeing a therapist.

"And how does that make you feel?"

"I dunno. Just need some help sorting a few facts of my life out."

The reality is I have a pretty descent life. Good job. Good home. Good friends. I just have a couple of things I need to sort out.

1) I think too much. I over analyze. I think about most actions way more than most people. As a result I trend to be "the quiet one". I'm really unsure as to when or why the happened. I'm also unsure whether this is good or bad.

2) I'm a "loner". I always have been. I've spent the majority of my life by myself. From my earliest memories, to the latest ones. I'm also unsure whether this is good or bad.

3) I have a hard time meeting new people/friends/partners/etc. This ties in a lot with 2). I do a lot of things to ensure this fact. This is most certainly bad. Very unsure of a course of action.

4) Once I do meet someone new I have a very difficult time getting to know them or connecting on a meaningful level. It certainly does happen and the people in my life are very close to me and very valuable to me. But getting close to people is a challenge for me. Again I'm certain this is bad. I'm certain it has to do with 2) and I'm at a complete loss as to how to do anything different.

5) I have many acquiantences in my life that I'd like to be closer with, but for some reason they appear to not. Not that people are hostile towards me—if we go out for dinner or drinks they appear to have a good time. They just don't want to get together all that often. I assume that they are picking up on 1) and 2) but I haven't a clue as to what to do about it. This is, I think, is the thing that bothers be to most. And if I could go to the therapist and say fix this one thing I think that I would be very happy. That, however, is not possible without dealing with all of the others. They are all tied in together. But I'm uncertain as to how. I'm also uncertain as to how it started and I'm most certainly uncertain about what to do about it.

Lets hope that the professional has some insight and can present it to me in a way that I understand.

And I'm certain about that. I think. Maybe.