So it's been about a month since my second appointment. So what's changed?
The doctor recommended therapy. He said that I should see a therapist once a week for as long as required. "How much do they cost?" I ask. "Depending on the therapist $100 to $200 a session". Gulp. Once a week. Four weeks in a month. $400 to $800 a month. Gulp. That's $5200-$10400 per year. GULP! Well that isn't happening.
"Do you have coverage" he asks. "$500 per year" I reply. For that much money I might get to Tom age 10. Certainly I'm not going to sort out nearly 46 years worth… Not that I think there is 46 years worth only a couple of key sticking points but you get the point.
So I'm not sure how to proceed. I can't afford those prices but I need to clear my head. So what do I do? Well for starters I go to the beach.
Sure I'm not directly dealing with things but I'm not creating new things either. Having a completely stress free day really helps out. The warm weather helps. Being out and about. Swimming in the water. Watching the people. Watching the sunset. Generally speaking: it is a day to completely destress.
Are the problems gone away? No. Do they seem as important today? Yes. Are they bothering me as much? No.
So here I sit, on a Saturday night. Outside by the river. I try to move forward. I look for patterns in my behavior. I breathe.