So I had a lot of blood work done recently. Eight vials worth to de exact. I had a urine sample taken and analyzed. My doctor examined me from top to bottom. I was poked, prodded, and had a finger inserted about my person. He asked me 50 questions. He did everything medically imaginable a GP could do. And what did he find? Absolutely nothing.
I am, for all intents and purposes, a very healthy 45 year old male. I'm even off the cholesterol medication that I've been on for years. Everything is exactly as it should be. So, I ask my doctor, "why do I feel like crap and why do I have no energy?"
He starts asking me another 50 questions. He pauses slightly and sighs weirdly between each. "When was the last time you had sex?" Hummmpf. "How often do you go out with friends." Hummmmmmmmpf. Question after question. This is just uncomfortable. Even more uncomfortable than the "finger".
"(during your answer to that last question) you started to say something else. What was it?" For the life of me I don't know—I didn't even remember the question at this point.
There is a long pause. I stare blankly at him.
"Well the tests show no signs of any trouble. What do you think the problem is?"
I look quizzically at him. I'm tired of his questions.
"I'm going to send you to a specialist. How do you feel about seeing a psychiatrist?"
His question does not surprise me. "That would probably be a good idea" I say.
It is something I've pondered for a while. Should I go to therapy? Am I depressed? According to my doctor I probably am and just to be certain he wants to send me for a psych evaluation. I go this week and I am looking forward to it.
I do not view this as a bad thing. I view depression as any other disease. It is a medical fact. Maybe it will be treatable without medication. Maybe medication will be required. Hopefully it will get better quickly. Maybe it will take some time.
What I'm hoping for is that this psych eval will help me find some answers… sometimes you just want a diagnosis that you can hang a plan upon.